I’m not gonna lie, I’m so over the stigma mental illnesses have in society. If somebody were to say, “I have a cold,” nobody would get uncomfortable and awkward and show fake pity. Yet if I were to say, “yeah I have bipolar disorder,” that’s exactly what would happen. While they’re drastically different, and one is more serious than the other, the point still stands. Personally, of who I am as a person, I don’t care what other people think about me. If somebody thinks I’m a wreck and unstable, well heck dude, I already knew that. But I’m trying to end this stigma, starting with myself.
I have mental illnesses, and while I’m not necessarily proud of them, I’m not ashamed to have them. I struggle with severe clinical depression and I have for a loong time. As a result of that, I also have a history of self-harm and suicidal thoughts and tendencies. I’m not proud of the scars on my wrists or legs, but as I mentioned before, I couldn’t care less what people think of me. I don’t hide them because I hope that maybe somebody who’s going through what I’m going through and doesn’t see a light will see me being happy with these scars and get a little hope that the future does get better from them.
I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder, or manic depressive disorder. Most people think that means that my moods swing drastically, but ever since my diagnosis, I knew that wasn’t true at all. Nobody ever explained this disorder to me, so for years, I’ve just kinda accepted the fact that I had a misdiagnosis. But just recently, I finally learned what this meant. I feel emotions on a much higher and extreme level than most people. Very rarely, if ever, am I just chillin’ emotionally. When I’m sad, I’m at rock bottom. When I’m happy, I’m on top of the world. When I’m hungry, I could eat an entire kitchen. When I’ve eaten, I don’t want to eat for hours. When I’m stressed, my hair is literally falling out. It’s a real trial, but understanding it really is helpful.
I have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from a car accident I was in when I was six years old. Even now, almost 13 years later, I still get super nervous and anxious in a car. That one’s probably been the hardest for me because cars are just everywhere so it’s hard to escape.
I have social anxiety, and I just came to this realization very recently. It never registered that hyperventilating in social situations and purposefully avoiding functions so I didn’t have to interact with people weren’t normal things.
There is no issue for me to bring up these diseases and disorders I have. I have no problem talking about it. I want other people who are suffering to know that it is okay to talk about and ask for help with. It is okay to have these unfortunate situations. Nobody should be condemned for struggling. Somebody with a cold isn’t told to “just stop coughing,” just as somebody with obsessive compulsive disorder shouldn’t be told, “just be less high-strung.” I think we, as a society, need to make the steps to end this stigma, because it’s hard enough to talk about without it.
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