A glaring issue I’ve noticed when it comes to the LGBTQ community and the LDS church is that it becomes an argument of “the church versus sexuality” when that is just not the case. While I can absolutely see why people believe that Mormons hate those who don’t fit the heteronormative mold, it’s not a church thing, it’s an individual member thing. In no way am I trying to diss on anyone or say I’m better than anyone. Anything I say is completely my own view.
Christ taught that we should love the sinner, not the sin. Viewing any kind of sexuality other than straight as a sin is a weird spot for me. I have dear friends who are a part of the LGBTQ community, I have two uncles who are gay and married to each other and one of the best examples of unconditional love I have ever seen. Thinking that these people, who are in no way inherently bad, will be automatically condemned because of their sexuality is not something that sat right for me. But then I came to a realization of sorts. I thought, “there are things I do wrong every day. Am I being sent to Hell, even if I haven’t necessarily repented for them.” I too “sin” when it comes to sexuality. When I see an attractive woman, I look at her in a lustful manner. Christ said in Matthew 5:29 that to fix that, I should pluck out my eye. Literally take it out. He said it’s equal to adultery, which any Christian would argue is very bad. Is that a bad habit, one that is very common? Yes, absolutely, and I am working on fixing it and repenting when I notice myself doing that. But will that mean I am being automatically doomed to an eternity of punishment? I don’t believe so. I can’t believe so. And for the same reason, there is no way I can believe that people who are attracted to the same gender, and even those who are in same-sex relationships, and that’s as “bad” as they get, are barred from a good afterlife.
Is it a sin to have sexual relations outside of marriage and/or with someone of the same sex? According to doctrine, yes. But does that mean that members should condemn those in the LGBTQ community? Absolutely not. For the most part, the church’s stance on gay marriage is loving towards these people, while still holding onto the original doctrine of the church. I could absolutely be wrong since I am a white, heterosexual male, and as such, I haven’t had any kind of experience necessary to state that for sure. Is gay marriage allowed in our temples? No. But can homosexual people come to our meetings? Absolutely. Can a child raised in a homosexual home be baptized? Yes, with some stipulations that are due to the safety and wellbeing of that child, not because of the fact that their parents are gay. The church’s stance is loving, but it’s when members come into the picture that issues arise.
Mormons are typically viewed as judgmental and exclusive to those who do not share the same beliefs and standards as them, and while that may be true in some cases, it should not reflect poorly on the church because that is an individual member problem. Dan Reynolds is the lead singer of the band Imagine Dragons, a member of the LDS faith, and the director of the documentary Believer. He said in an interview with Trevor Noah, the host of the Daily Show, that Utah has one of the highest suicide rates in the country due to the religious nature of the state. Unfortunately, this is all too easy to believe. In the same interview, Reynolds says that teens who come out of the closet to an unwelcome family and/or community are eight times more likely to commit suicide. That’s just horrific. Jesus Christ taught that we should love the sinner, hate the sin. That we should love and accept everyone, regardless of anything, especially anything that doesn’t affect us in any way, shape, or form. Our Heavenly Father has an unconditional love for all of His children. He doesn’t care. In the end, all that matters is that it is not our place to judge others. That is all left to Christ and the Big Man. Us as members of the one true church need to be more open and loving towards everyone. We are only pushing people away, creating stigmas and untrue stereotypes associated with Mormons. We are not helping anyone by judging those in the LGBTQ community, especially when it just is not our place. Let’s show people that regardless of their sexuality, which really is a beautiful thing, that we love them. Let’s make dominantly Mormon places better places for those who may not feel safe. Let’s make our communities our own little Zion. Let’s cut these ridiculously high suicide rates down. Let’s be the people our Savior wants us to be.
I know of people, like my uncles, who left the church due, in part, to their sexuality. They still deserve love and I accept them and they’re role models to me. I also know of people who remained in the church and fought their sexuality in order to follow the Lord’s teachings. They deserve love. Either path is not an easy one, and it is not my place to say which one is the right one for them because it is not my life. That is something only they can decide.
If you’re gay, bisexual, transgender, anywhere on the spectrum of sexuality or gender identity, you are not broken. You are not defective. You are worthy of love and I’m sorry if you haven’t received that. Some members of the LDS church haven’t done a good job of being supportive and welcoming, and I apologize for that as well. We are not all like that. In fact, I’d like to think that there are substantially more loving members than bigoted ones. I promise that, while I can’t speak for others, I will love and accept you. While I may not relate to what you may be going through, if you ever need or want to talk, I will sympathize and love and accept you, no matter what.
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